I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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