and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
