Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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