How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
