420 ftw
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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