I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
