I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
