why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
