Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
