I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
