Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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