You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
