is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
