this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
