Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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