Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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