I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
