She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
