Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
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He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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