Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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