She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
