so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
