I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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