There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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