Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I wear drunk well.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
