Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
