So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
