I can tuck mytits in my pants
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
