If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
