I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
