the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The beer is more important than you right now.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
