Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
