I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
