we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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