We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
