Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
