dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
