After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
