This girl is more easily done than said...
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
pray to the hookup gods
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
