I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
