And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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