Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
