i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
