I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
