just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
