If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
