That's when you crack a 10am beer
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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