I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
