Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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