I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
