I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
