u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I need to sanitize my soul.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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