Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
